I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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