remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
