You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
