She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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