Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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