margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize