I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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