my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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