he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
