please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
