i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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