Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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