youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
