The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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