God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
