I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
