seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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