I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
