I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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