You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
