im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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