Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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