I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize