Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
