Me too!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
