I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
