i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
