you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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