the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
