The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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