Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
