that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
