What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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