The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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