I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
nutella sex= disaster
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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