ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
