i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
