I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
