Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
