i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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