Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize