Please, let me fuck your mom
you would pick up someone in the library
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
