I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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