when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
