Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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