She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
