I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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