Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
