Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
