**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
