I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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