and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize