Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
