he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
