just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
