I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
