i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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