dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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