spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
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