hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize