i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
