i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
