I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize