I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she smelled like a LAN party
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
