hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
