1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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