So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
