i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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