I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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