His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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