You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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