She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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