I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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