And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize