you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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